I'm learning, over and over again, that motherhood doesn't always look like we planned it to. Can I get an amen? There are things that slip through the cracks, things that look drastically different than we planned, things we forget about, and things we want to forget about. I laugh when I think about who I was, seven years ago, with one baby, to who I am today with baby number five on the way. Thank the Lord for His grace, and that He changes us (re:me).
Every once in a while someone will say something, let's say about taking their kids to the zoo for example, shall we? Suddenly, a slight panic attack will creep up that I HAVE NEVER TAKEN MY KIDS TO THE ZOO. They shall die animal-less and it's all my fault. AND WHERE EVEN IS THE NEAREST ZOO? Seriously, where is it though. This happens all the time... when we read something, when we see something, when we remember something... and how we're mothering isn't how those things are. An ohmygoodness guilt can creep in that has got to get the boot, my friends.
I once had this dream of what dinners would look like for our family. You know, where your husband strolls in the door at exactly 5 PM, you're pulling dinner out of the oven, and the kids lovingly set the table. You all pray together, sit together, and talk about your days. It's lovely, really. And that dream for me is still very much that, a dream. There are so many things I remember from my "childhood" when I am actually a teenager. I have this vision in my head of what happened back then, but when I really remember, I'm all Oh ya, I was FOURTEEN not two. Let's throw our hands in the air and give ourselves some grace, mamas of little ones. There are things that one day we will be able to do, and now is not the time. And that's okay.
My man has, maybe never, walked through the door at 5 PM. I have one child who literally can't sit still, and we don't make him. I have one kid who refuses to eat anything unless it's peanut butter or cake. I have one baby who throws his entire dinner across the room the second we give it to him. Oh, family dinners don't look like what I had planned. No, no, no. But you know what? I wouldn't change it. My kids aren't who I imagined them to be. They're so much better. They are just what the Lord knew I needed. They teach me more about forgiveness and grace than I could have ever imagined.
I'm here today to tell myself, and you, it's okay. It's okay if you forgot to teach your seven year old how to tie a shoe, because he only wears velcro. Or heck, you tie his shoes for him. It's okay if you let your kids watch TV during the week, and it's okay if you don't. They can't ride a bike? No problem. Haven't been to the zoo? Dirt.off.my.shoulder.
Moms, He has called you here. Not just here as in being a mom, but right here in this moment you're in right now. The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24