WHY is this live premiere happening in Hollywood and why, why, why is the skeevster Chris B taking selfies with the crowd. I'm sorry, but someone help the dude out.
I should have began first off with, OF COURSE I READ REALITY STEVE. Mums the word though, I know you ladies don't like to know who wins. Where is the fun in that?
Chris, Prince Farming, also know as the best night of my life. All the sudden I want to move to Iowa. One of the things that makes Chris so darling is, maybe, that he barely opens his mouth when he talks. And his adorable family. They love wine and laughing and so they are basically my family, too.
There is apparently an hour long shin ding happening here. Where is the prince and why in the world is there 48 minutes til the first limo? I cannot possibly stay awake until eleven.
Oh em gee. Cody. Are you married to Michelle Money? What is happening?
Nikki, hopping out of the car. Girlfriend. I don't even know. Bless your heart, girl. Es okay. Is this interview ever going to end? You guys were different people. Es okay.
Catherine. Are you pregnant. WHAT IS THAT you are constantly pulling over your dress. Someone help me and take that off of you this instant.
Finally, the show:
Britt, could you tell us more about yourself within the first thirty seconds. Free hugs for all. Fran nailed it when she said she is Nick Lachey's wife. I MEAN. Vanessa? Britt? Is that you?
Ballerina who doesn't like to pay the bills, Kaitlyn the joker/dancer, lucky penny in the shoe girl, and cruise ship singer:
Chris. You are such a giver. Trying on all of those suits. So emotionally exhausting. The struggle is real, and you will do whatever it takes.
Whitney, please friend. Push your strands of hair behind your eyes when talking to the prince.
Some favorite moments:
The girl who said, I just left Peru. Like, just left. I was scaling a mountain and found a heart rock, isn't that creepy? What?
"I don't think Chris even has pigs on his farm."
Tara. Someone get the girl a bucket, a bed, and a blanket. SOMETHING.
Until next time...