My precious friend Carolyn is sharing her love story today. You can find her blog here, and follow along with her on instagram here.
Jordan and I have been together almost 8 years, married almost 6. There are so many instances that I can look back on over these years where I’ve said “God, what exactly are you doing?” and I know we don’t always get a clear answer, but I know for certain that every time I have asked that question, His goal was to draw me back to Himself FIRST. It’s so easy to make your mate, or even a friend, parent or your kids your number one, but I’m so grateful that Jesus loves us so much that He fights for our affection.
I met Jordan at church when I was home from a college break. I was 19, he was 22. We had mutual friend who just happened to really enjoy soccer, and at the time the world cup was taking place. They‘d get together almost every day to watch games, and like any girl with a crush, I looked at it as a great opportunity to get to know this guy more without being too obvious. We could just hypothetically say that my love for soccer grew suddenly and strongly as I would go over to their house and watch with everyone. (To this day, my hubby might still be a little upset that I “tricked” him into thinking I loved soccer :)
We got to know each other, had a few dates, and I knew. I KNEW this was different. It wasn’t iffy or questionable. He was EXACTLY what I had pictured in my mind as the kind of person I‘d spend the rest of my life with. Now clearly, everyone has their downfalls, and neither of us are without a few big ones. But when I pictured a guy, I pictured someone who would love God, love me, put others first, and want a family. But another strong “must have” of mine was that they had to be funny, and they had to be able to take my sarcasm, and dish it out a little too. I may be a 5’2, young looking, nice girl from upstate NY, but there’s a little fight in me too. :)
We had been dating a few months and all of a sudden I noticed things seemed a little off. He wasn't calling as much, we were growing apart. Long story short he eventually told me that he just wasn't in the place for a relationship right now and that he needed to take a break. I was devastated, but somehow at peace. It was unknown if we were to get back together or not, but in my heart I still felt peace. So with a lot of praying and waiting, we continued to remain friends and to occasionally see one another. On Christmas of that year, I can remember telling him “just so you know, I’m in love with you and I can pretty much guarantee we will get married”. If I could’ve saved that look on his face, I would have. If I remember correctly his response was nothing short of “uhmm…hey thanks” but I didn't care. I knew it and had to tell him.
A few months later, I had been given the opportunity to go on a short term missions trip to Uganda, and it was so eye opening in so many ways for me, and as I later found out, for Jordan as well. It had been months since our break up and I was starting to doubt that we were going to get back together. I had lost the assurance that I had, and was growing impatient. I asked a lot of those “why God” questions and didn't understand why someone I felt so sure about was still running in the opposite direction. But I felt God say to be patient, and to wait. The Lord used the rest of the trip to really show me that I had been putting Jordan on a pedestal and now I see that He was helping me trust, prioritize, and value Him over my possible relationship with Jordan. I came back from this trip with so much more peace and trust that the Lord would carry out His plan for my life, even if it meant despite my hopes of Jordan being a part of that plan. It turns out the Lord had been working in Jordan’s life too, and the day after I got back he asked if we could meet up to talk. He shared his heart with me, and everything that was in it. All of the raw, deep dark things that no one else knew. He shared with me things he had been struggling with and ways that he needed to grow during our time apart. He was honest. He was REAL. I looked at him through tears and loved him in a new way that I had never known possible. He said he was ready to commit to a relationship if I would have him. You can imagine it didn't take me long to answer.
We got married, and had some pretty amazing adventures together. One of the things I love most about my husband is his sense of adventure, and his ability to still completely surprise me. If you know me, you know I am a play-it-safe, drive under the speed limit type of girl. While my hubby is not a daredevil, he definitely brings out more adventure in me than I would have on my own. We were married 3 years and discovered the exciting news that I was pregnant! We were ECSTATIC. (and a little scared out of our minds too). We felt so grateful that this season had come for us, and waited eagerly for our first ultrasound. We always had said to each other, “wouldn't it be so fun to have twins?” and I can remember saying to him that I felt like I was pregnant with twins, before we even had our ultrasound. My belly was a little bigger than normal, and I just had a felling. First ultrasound, and guess what? TWINS.
Our pregnancy with our twin girls was far from easy. It would take days to go into details, but the short version is that we were trusting in faith with all we had that the Lord would spare their little lives while they grew in my belly. Because of His grace, their lives were spared and today they are two of the best things that have ever happened to us. My husband stood so strongly by me through it all and continually reminded me, “No matter what, He is STILL good.” Despite the “why God” in this situation, yet again the Lord used it to draw us as a couple closer to Him and to each other. The short 7 months that I was pregnant were some of the best months of our marriage, because they forced us to grow, and to depend on God with all that we had. Through our dating, marriage, and babies, I have seen so many times God bringing us right back to him, putting us in a position to stretch our faith and then carrying out his Promise of faithfulness. HE is the reason we have such a love for each other, and for that we are so grateful.