Saturday, December 7

SAYING YES TO OPEN ADOPTION


One time I thought I was going to homeschool forever. Or at least complete the year that I began. HA. The Lord completely changed my heart on that, in a number of ways. What I thought could never be, soon was something I was desiring. Only the Lord can do that. Only He can change our hearts in the ways needed. And only He can show us why it needed changing. I'm grateful for that.

Two and a half years ago Caleb and I sat in one our first classes at our adoption agency. Our case worker talked about open adoption and I was scared. I told him after the class that open adoption was a good thing, just not for us. How could we want that? Or have that? It seems funny for me to type that because 1) It wasn't that long ago. 2) My heart is in the complete opposite place, the place it will be in forever.

I sat at one of our last classes, blinking back tears, listening to a precious mama talk about her open adoption with her 5 year old son's birth mom. She said, with grace and beauty, she has given him to us. She has given him to us, how could we not give her a couple hours out of our year? Why would we not want to? 

I don't know what fears exactly I had in my head about open adoption but they were all released that day. The thing I thought I didn't want was everything that I needed. Little did I know then, in July 2011, that in August 2013 we would say yes (more like screamed it, and jumped up and down, while doing the happy dance!) to open adoption. It was the easiest and best decision for us and for our boy. What scared me then excites me now. What seemed wrong is oh so right. We couldn't imagine it any other way. Sometimes, in so many areas of my life, I have to stop asking myself Why? and ask Why Not?

I said yes to adoption years and years ago. The Lord had to work in my heart to say yes to open adoption. If the Lord is not closing the doors, why not keep on walking?  Open adoption can look so many different, and beautiful, ways. It will be specific to your chid and their birth mother/birth parents. Having openness in our adoption is not just a blessing for our son, it's an overwhelming blessing for us, for our family. 

"Not for our sake, God, no, not for our sake, but for your name's sake, show your glory. Do it on account of your merciful love, do it on account of your faithful ways." - Psalm 115:1-2

18 comments:

  1. I've always known adoption rocks, just never thought much about "open adoption." Always sounded a bit scary to me as well. It's so wonderful how our mindsets can change so quickly and so beautifully.

    How thankful that boy will be that you made that decision. Can't wait to see this journey unfold for you guys.

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  2. Your story sounds quite familiar. :) Open adoption has been such a beautiful gift in our lives. Love seeing glimpses of your journey. xo

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  3. Thank you for sharing this! I love your thought of "why and why not?" It's funny how the things I think I'm most adamant about in my heart, God softens it and makes it more open to new possibilities. I'm learning how I can't completely shut the door on something - God has the final say. I'm so glad he made it so clear in your life what direction to go, and that it's been such a great decision for you!

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  4. Want to know what I love most about you? You are wise beyond your years, and your faith and trust in God's plans is so beautiful! I love how this story is unfolding.

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  5. i love this! reminded me of another mama whose story opened my heart to open adoption as well when the time comes! God is doing a beautiful thing.

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  6. Beautiful how God works in us to change US so that we can be where He needs us to be to bless us fully!

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  7. This is so beautiful, it's like the things we say never to so often God flips around on us to yes.

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  8. Wow, awesome testimony of letting God have His way. Blessings!

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  9. What a precious story! Our little 4 year old Granddaughter was adopted and while it was not really an "open adoption", our son and dil did meet the birth Mom and we were all at the hospital when she was born. It was one of the most heart rendering experiences of our lives. God's hand was on the entire process and she was and continues to be a precious blessing in our lives. Christmas blessings to you!

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  10. Thank you for sharing. So many thoughts run through my head right now. Love the adoption aspect at how God changes us. Lately as I get older, I look back and can't believe all the things I thought I would never do, things I judged others for doing. I've really had to repent over the judging. I said I would never put my kids in public school- it was the worst ever. Now, of course, 3 of my kids are thriving in public school and the teachers have been wonderful. And I have so many other scenarios in my life where the things I said, things that I insisted on, became the complete opposite. God knows what we need. all. the. time.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this. I love reading about your journey girl! xxoo Katie

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  12. You speak the truth in more ways than one, Danielle. It's so easy to make assumptions about the things we don't know or the plans we make (and want to keep), but like you said, that just isn't always the case--especially with God! Just wanted to let you know that as a young lady who hopes to adopt someday, I have loved reading each and every one of your adoption posts. They're inspirational, honest, and such a beautiful representation of what adoption is and what I hope to experience someday. :)

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  13. So wonderful to see how God has blessed your family. Can't wait to see where God takes your family. It is beautiful and inspiring. My heart would love to adopt one day. We shall see.

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  14. I love this post! We do not know our daughter's birth mama, and it hurts my heart. But I know that God will open up that relationship in His timing and I am trusting in that. So glad I found you on IG today (through Joye)! Totally going to be contacting you about a blog upheaval!

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  15. This is amazing...that little boy is so blessed to have a mama who chases after God!

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  16. God had to do the same heart-change in me. We're 15 months into an open adoption with our son's birth family. It has been messy, painful, and heart-breaking as birth mom's life is a total disaster- and yet.....she chose to carry him full-term and give birth to him, she chose life for our son so I will continue to say yes to our visits and contact with her, no matter how messy it is. I'm so thankful God is a gentle shepherd to leads our hearts to be in line with his will and leads us to those places where we can see, even if through painful circumstances, more of his glory. I thought I'd have children biologically, I thought open adoption sounded awful....and now here we are with our gorgeous adopted son and 4 visits per year with his birth family.

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