My sweet boy. You are FIVE today! I feel like this is a huge day for you and me both. Five years ago today you made me a mama, and there isn't anyone else in the world that I'd want to fill that place. I remember, so vividly, what it felt like to hold you in my arms for the first time. I've never felt so drained, physically and emotionally, then I did right then and there. But, amongst all of that pain, you were here and you were mine. My are my baby boy forever, my first son. Today I am thanking God that he choose me to be your mom. I can't imagine one day of my life without you in it, and the fact that you are going to be a kindergartner in the fall breaks my heart and fills me with joy all at the same time. I'm still trying to figure this whole thing out. Please forgive me for all the mistakes I'll make along the way. I'm scared but oh, so excited for you.
You have the most sweet spirit and tender heart. You hate to break any rules or make anyone upset. Always know that there is nothing in the world that you could do to make me stop loving you. Always remember God's amazing grace.
You have flourished in preschool this past year, making new friends and coming out of your shell, little by little. You will talk for hours and hours and love to have people listen to you. You make sure that everyone is listening to you by having them acknowledge every sentence you say. You may have gotten that from your mama.
You love steak, bacon, and bagels. You love creamsicle and vanilla yogurts and spaghetti and meatballs. But, no sauce. Only parmesan cheese and butter. You can eat three donuts in approximately one minute and thirteen seconds. You make up the most stellar dance moves and, yesterday, you officially entered the stage where you talk in made up languages.
You say begainst instead of against, and I'll never correct you. You love Mumford and Sons and playing Sonic and Mario. You're going to have dark blue cupcakes at school today, cause that's your favorite color in the whole wide world. You love soccer and baseball, but basketball is sneaking up there in your favorites too.
I'm sorry for all the times that I'm frustrated or distracted. I'm sorry for all the times I choose to work or clean or talk on the phone and not spend time with you. I know, in my heart, that those things need to get done, too but right now, as you sleep on your top bunk with your little brother below you, I vow that all of that will be tucked away tomorrow so that my full attention is yours.
You've been asking me so many questions about Jesus, Heaven, and Hell. You say things that are so beautiful and hysterical at the same time, and the way that you talk about faith and salvation is exactly how adults would, if they weren't afraid of how they would sound. Stay that way forever.
I can't believe that this day is here. I can't believe that my boy is so grown up. Today you told me you'd always be my baby boy, and I'm going to hold you to that.
I love you, Brody, to the moon and back. Happy 5th birthday!