WORD FOR THE YEAR: BRAVE

when caleb and i snuck away to mohonk for our six year anniversary we arrived, checked in, and decided to hike to the top of the mountain right away. it was so beautiful. the weather was perfect. after we grabbed lunch, i said, want to do it again … but do the labyrinth climb this time?

we skimmed our eyes over the explanation of the hike, that was basically like you're going to die, and got started right away. i wouldn't say i am an actual hiker, but i do really enjoy it.

maybe we didn't read the signs in their entirety.

via mohonk.com 

um. yeah… about that.

this was, really and truly, one of the most amazing experiences. we climbed through tiny spaces and jumped from rock to rock, all while thinking that we were pretty sure this should be illegal if we're not attached to some rope or something. we breathed in fresh mountain air, and it felt that we were, literally, on top of the world. there were times i looked at caleb and said um. i don't think i can fit through there. times we laughed and said what in the world? times we sweat a little bit, times we were panting a whole lot. but, we were exhilarated. we felt so alive. it was pretty amazing to feel that emotion together, right there at the same time.

it happened, sort of suddenly, that we arrived at the crevice, as it was so appropriately labeled.

i think i swallowed pretty hard before i started this climb. someone had been stuck at the top of this when we arrived, and took quite some time to get himself out. i stepped out the rocks a few times just to catch my breath before i started my turn. there was no going back. and there was no choice but to do it. i took a deep breath and, in that moment, i felt so brave.

not a boastful, or prideful, kind of brave. but the i'm going to push myself to do this and do it the best i can kind of brave. not the brave that's about myself but the brave that's all about Jesus. it's His work, His words, His love. just my body. my hands, being brave for Him.

and that feeling, that i felt right then and there, is the feeling i want to feel over and over again this year. it's Jesus in me, telling me that because He is graceful I can be brave. i want to be brave for Christ. for His glory. this year i want to do the things that scare me, the things i wouldn't normally do. i have already starting praying over this and when I feel the Lord tugging at my heart to do something hard, to do something that requires me being brave, i've been doing it. and it's so freeing. those moments are so real, so full of life.

i don't want to be held back by always waiting for a bright and shining answer. i want to be living in God's will, not waiting for a sign of it. i'm not gonna get lost in the fear of failure, i am going to take chances and live passionately. i'm going to be brave.

i have this quote written or hung in three different spots in my house,

tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
-mary oliver

cause i never want to forget that this life is precious, that this day is precious, and that i only get it one shot.

He makes me want to be brave.