Friday, December 14

FEATURED SPONSOR: LIFE OF BON

//mare: you won yourself a copy of stitch craft create! email me today\\

Why hello there.

The name is Bonnie Blackburn Larsen and writing nonsense is my game.  I blog over at Life of Bon where life is always a freaking party.


This is me in my very sexiest form.  I look like this about 0.0021% of my life.  Maybe less.


This is me in my ugliest form- dressed up as Voldemort for midnight Harry Potter premieres. 
I just felt like from the get go you needed to know me in my best and worst forms.  Just know that usually I am somewhere in the middle of those two extremities, but creeping over more into the Voldemort side, no doubt.

If you are still interested in me, (oh this sounds so romantic!) you have a couple of options from here.

Option #1:  Keep reading where I will tell you all the necessary details about me like how I asked my husband to make me a hot dog with his shirt off the first time we met.  Trust me, you're going to want to read up.
Option #2: Visit my blog where you may read all my rambling to your heart's content.  You might wanna check out this post which will give you a very personal, loving tour of the blog and a guide to the greatest posts- the romantic ones about my Hub-a-dubs, the ones about teaching high school to bratty teenagers, and even the scandalous ones.
Option #3:  While at my blog, enter Wednesday's giveaway- jewelry galore, Starbucks, and Target.  What more could a girl want?!?
Option #4:  All of the above

(Pick #4!  Pick #4)

Let's dive right in, shall we?

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BON BON

1.  I don't really ever refer to myself as Bon Bon except for, strangely enough, when I am writing on this blog.

2.  I'm working hard on a goal I made a little while ago to make people feel good about themselves.  Sometimes it's easy.  Sometimes it's hard.  Mostly it's hard when the people I am dealing with are idiots.

3.  Below you will see the picture of the guy I married.  His name is Greg.  But don't call him that.  From here on out we refer to him only as Hubs.  All hail Hubs!  We met when I was reading on a balcony and he was walking across the parking lot.  He told me the pink streak in my hair was looking mighty fine and I told him to come up and make me dinner with his shirt off.  Eight months later I was throwing a bouquet. 


4.  For a living I play blackjack.

5.  Just kidding about number four.  I'm a high school English teacher.  I have to teach high school instead of elementary because a) I don't have patience for little uns b) I don't want to have to pretend I like crappy drawings and c) I don't do snot/pee/poo/tears.

6.  Today in class we heard what appeared to be tribal music coming from the classroom next door.  In a moment of poor instinct I yelled, "Quick!  We need a sacrifice!  We must send over a virgin to sacrifice!"  I don't know why that came to my mind, why I blurted it out, and why I thought it was appropriate.  The kids laughed anyway because they think I'm psycho and that would be reason d) why I don't teach elementary school.

7.  I was born into a family of eight kids.  This means I have learned to fight for attention.  I can put on a show with the best of them.  One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to tell acquaintances and friends not smart enough to know better that it was my birthday and soak in the attention all day long.  I'm messed up.  I know.


8.  I can be bossy.  I blame it on the 16 year olds.  I get used to bossing them around all day that I come home and think I have the right to tell everybody else what to do, too.  It's weird, but people don't like being bossed around.

9.  I have had close to 20 traffic citations.  And that's not even touching the boots, the towings, or the parking tickets.  Or the two cars I totaled.  I don't say this because I'm bragging about my bad driving record, but because I am bragging that it has been 19 months since my last ticket.  NINETEEN MONTHS.  I have been reformed.

This was the day I got two tickets 20 minutes apart.  
One was for going 26 over the speed limit- a $540 fine.  
My lead foot is was expensive!

10.  People always make fun of me for my bad driving and if we're ever going somewhere in a group they say I'm not allowed to drive.  This hurts my feelings.  I mean, come on, if you had 20 traffic tickets I wouldn't rub it in your face like that!

11.  The picture below is what my husband looks like when I leave for work in the morning.  Some kind of praying demon?  What think ye?!?


12.  A couple of days ago I was passing out copies of Les Miserables for my seniors to read.  One girl looked at the title and then exclaimed, "Ah, man!  My copy is in Spanish!"  That's been making me smile for going on six days now.

13.  Every year I invest hundreds of hours watching my favorite basketball team, the Utah Jazz disappoint me.   It's not the healthiest thing I've got going on in my life.


14.  I make Hubs late.  All the time.  Oops.

15.   I like ladybugs and roses and anything girly.  I eat bowls of cereal with the milk overflowing.  I've got a hot head and a sharp tongue that is rarely controlled.  I've been known to burst into tears for no reason.  I am passionate about reading and writing and reality TV.  Long eyelashes are my guilty pleasure.  On Saturdays I do my best to sleep until noon and when I see old couples holding hands my heart completely melts.  I think painted fingernails are the epitome of femininity and a diet coke the cure to every curve ball life throws at you.  This is me!  

You can also find me on twitter and facebook and with any luck, an upcoming episode of Wheel of Fortune.  (Hey a girl can dream, can't she?!) Now come say hi already!