hey everyone! my name is katy and i blog at scottyboy and katygirl. i'm so glad danielle asked me to share my journey with the Lord today! before i get all serious on you :: here are two fun facts about me that you should know. number one :: i wet my pants on stage once when i was singing in a church musical. i ran off and the elders prayed for me that night. true story. and number two :: i also wet my pants when i was learning how to drive a stick shift. i just got carried away and couldn't hold it in any longer. and now that i have two kids, the possibility of wetting my pants is always there. always.
glad i could break the ice a little. shall we begin?
i would say when i think about my life, i can sum up my journey so far in one word :: searching. i'm always searching for something...my keys, the right outfit to wear, diapers, something sweet to eat, smiles from my children. and if we go even deeper than that, i know myself, and i know i'm always searching for acceptance, satisfaction, contentment in life. i would say that my relationship with God started that way - just searching for something bigger than what i had so far.
i was raised in a Christian home in California.
my parents raised both my sister and i with good morals and values and we grew up
going to church every sunday morning. i invited Jesus into my heart at a young age, i was always involved in church and brought my bible on sundays. i knew a lot about the Word and had a special place for it in my heart. but i wouldn't say i really grasped the concept of what a personal relationship with Jesus looked like until much later in my life.
i think the need for acceptance from people has always been so great that by high school, i was really ready and willing to do whatever it took to find that. i don't think i really knew that Jesus was the answer all along - so i set on a journey to just feel satisfaction from something, somehow. it didn't really matter what it was - and even though always had a nagging feeling that something was "wrong", i was willing to give anything a shot to see if that is what would leave me satisfied. there were times of momentary happiness - but nothing that left me satisfied for very long. there was a deep longing in my soul to find something that would be that permanent contentment i was looking for.
when i went away to college, i got involved in Campus Crusade for Christ at Cal Poly. i started to get really involved in bible studies and the weekly meetings and met some really amazing people that had this different kind of relationship with the Lord that i really hadn't seen before. and i could tell they had this sweet longing for more of Jesus instead of more acceptance from others like i was longing for. it was then that i really grew to understand that everything i was searching for in life could be found in one person :: the Lord. i really, truly found the One that accepted me for who He made me to be and brought me to a new place of contentment that i had never known before. i wholly surrendered my heart and my life and turned it over to Christ in a new way.
now let me just tell you from experience :: my journey for searching is never over. i wish it was. but unfortunately, for me, it is always a struggle to stay on track and not deviate from the right path. it seems like i'm always forgetting that Jesus is IT. he's all i need forever. and i'm constantly falling and getting back up and trying again - like a baby learning to walk. it's a process - a never ending process of surrendering my life to Christ every day. those days where i think i need to go searching again are just rough days. and by days, i mean weeks, months, or sometimes years.
i've made big mistakes in my life because of the need to feel accepted by someone. really big ones. but every time i fail, God draws me back and shows me the blood of Jesus. he forgives, he gives grace, and he accepts me with open arms. even on the days that i feel a little far from him...deep in my soul, i know he is the ONLY answer - the only path for me. i know that this road i've chosen is not an easy one by any means. but if it was easy, we wouldn't really need to depend on God, would we? and then we'd be stuck searching all over again.
thanks so much for letting me share my journey with you. i hope you've found that Jesus is the answer to your searching too. xoxo.