today's post is written by jessica bussell.
you can find her here: changing seasons
Faithisms: Alone time
As a mom of three small children I can easily feel stretched in many directions. At any point during the day I could have any number of things vying for my attention. It's usually my children. Amelia needs to be nursed, Vanessa wants me to play dolls with her, and Elijah is yelling from the bathroom to come wipe him.
It's wonderful. Love it. Wouldn't trade it. It's what God's called me to do. But, it doesn't mean it's not hard. Mothering is some tough work.
There are times I just want to be alone. I think if one more of my sweet children call my name or pull my hair I might scream. I need an escape. Sometimes you might find me stealing 15 minutes in the grocery store parking lot. I'll recline my seat, roll my sweater into a pillow and close my eyes. Ignoring the fact that anyone walking past might think I'm crazy... or homeless.
This feeling of being worn out got me thinking about the idea of "me time." I've always struggled with the thought. I felt selfish. I've heard it's important to have alone time so you can love yourself more in order to love your family more, but that doesn't sit right with me. I think the bible is pretty clear that we love ourselves plenty. I do think alone time is a good thing though. I just don't think it stems from the need to love myself more.
I really wrestled with feeling the benefit of getting a little time away, but not understanding how that fit into my Christian walk. I started to really think and pray about it.
For me it came down to my motivation. I believe time away from the daily grind is good. I believe time alone with God is needed. But, I believe that instead of it helping me love myself more it shows me that I am weak and God is my strength. I need him to recharge me and refresh me for the daily tasks he's called me to. I can't do it on my own. I need him to carry me through every running nose and every sleepless night. Those times away gives me a chance to reflect on the blessings he's given me and see past the tasks and on to the bigger picture of what he's doing.
Time away, either by myself, doing something I love or spending time away and having an adult conversation is a gift. I'm so thankful for those times. I'm thankful for a husband who appreciates how hard I work and takes care of things so I can have a little time. I come back refreshed and ready to love on and serve my family.