i've decided the create a new parenting style for myself. and it's called the fake it to make it.
it's working well for me so far, and even though the roots of it are me nestled on the couch with the words "lazy/tired mom" written across my forehead, i'm making progress and isn't that what this job is all about?
in essence it's this:
there are a lot of things i'm working towards. i want to respond with more love to my kids. i don't want to have to spend two hours cleaning every morning when i'd rather be engaged with them. i want to take baby steps to work on all these things without over thinking it too much. so i'm gonna bite my tongue before i snap back and spread a big ol' fake smile across my face and give an answer that i perhaps don't feel like saying 100% but know deep down that i should. and if all goes as planned, those fakies will become easier to live out. and change my heart, too.
it's also this for me:
the holy and sacred time in our house is when all the kids sleeping from 7:30 til i hit sheets around 10:30. why is it holy and sacred you ask? cause all the kids are sleeping. duh. is my only time without all of them awake so i have got to prioritize. i've got to devote that forty five minutes after they go to bed to cleaning up from dinner and throwing in the load of laundry. all i really wanna do is lay on the couch, watch the next food network star, and eat ben and jerry's ice cream. but if i do that… it looks like this the next morning:
and takes away from this:
and essentially, i mean, if i can break down even more… it's just this:
and fill in sad with whatever self pity emotion i am feeling. (almost always tired)
some examples for you of the little things i have been changing:
1) we're in the front yard, having a little snack picnic style. our neighbors, who are always, always outside starring at us are doing their regular stare down, and another house across the street that is for sale is being shown by a real estate agent to potential buyers. a certain four year old proclaims AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. mom! i don't have any underwear on! my pen*s!!!
my normal response: AHHHHH!! run over to him and attempt to tackle him to the ground while covering his mouth and play it off like it's a game.
fake it to make it: bite my tounge. chant fake it to make it to myself, throw up a fist pump, and say "well, well, well. you forgot to put your underwear on today didn't you? you can go ahead inside and grab a pair out of your dresser and put them on. under your shorts, ok? and don't you go taking off those shorts til you are in your room, ya hear? and oh yeah, thank you for using the proper name for your private parts. you make me so proud"
2) story goes to bed at 7:30 and wakes up at 1 AND 4 am to nurse before getting up for the day at 7:00. rude.
my normal response: what in the world?! the boys were done getting up in the night at two months old. what am i doing wrong?! i don't want to admit to other people that my baby isn't sleeping perfectly (heart change. heart change) i could easily become consumed with frantically googling what i am doing wrong here that is causing this "problem."
fake it to make it: NBD, people! i'll admit my faults that babywise isn't working as well as it did for the first two. or maybe, just maybe i haven't been as structured. that could be it. tired? yes. can't keep my eyes open? check. gonna enjoy her cute butt instead of whining and complaining about lack of sleep cause times slipping away.
it's simple, really. but simple is what i need.
i think fake it to make it will benefit you in other areas of your life to. pretend that mile you're running is really, really fun, and not trechourus. run it with a smile on your face and it might be a whole lot better, no? it's really just practice that makes almost and far from perfect but trying our hardest is always best. does that make sense? mkay.
areas of your life the fake it to make it will probably not help:
having sex with your husband.
…and that's all i can come up with right now.
go be awesome today.