i mean… since you guys had so much to say about it last time…
the bach starts out this week with emily's mom bringing her breakfast in bed. um mom… can you do that for me, too? thanks.
chris..i'm just not feeling ya buddy. i also feel like he is 35, not 25. i am older than him which toats creeps me out. someone get a background check on this guy cause i think he's lying about his age.
and emily, stop telling him he's so cute… way to give the guy a big head. my first i cant believe im watching this show moment is: climbing up the restaurant wall to dinner.
second moment: "she looks unbelievable in a harness." stop, chris. just stop.
the lightning.. seriously with the lightning bolts, abc.
drink wine in your harnesses, y'all. and chris, keep talking about how much you want to kiss her.
would you stop already with the telling him he's cute? dontcha know any dating dos and don'ts?!
wait a second… didn't we dance in front of country music singers who i had no who they were last week? repeat date alert. repeat date alert.
annnnd everyone joins in the on the awkward dancing making it even more awkward.
ryan is a little much for me. a little too confident. a little too styled. a little too everything. he leaves the kids and goes to get his two minute time with emily which he totally fails at. the comment about gaining weight after they get married. BUH BYE. who doesn't gain weight after they get married? i would like to meet that person. you get crossed off the list tonight, ry guy. CROSSED.OFF.
i cannot even look at that group of men walking over to her friends without cringing and feeling embaressed for them. it seriously looks like a bunch of 12 year olds.
stevie… keep break dancing buddy.
HELP ME. with the dancing. the bachelorette has become dancing with the stars… err… the friends.
wendy wants to date sean. she does not want emily to date him. she wants to date him herself. and she sits on his back as he does push ups. wendy! control yourself!
men: please don't pretend you LOVE the group of screaming eight year olds coming at you. you do not love that. you are lying and putting on a show. cause this is a show. about a lady with a daughter. what?
sean… i like you. you are my number 2, jeF is still number one. obvi.
jef would go down the slide himself, whether the kids were there or not. that's why he's cool. my husband is a skateboarder. maybe that's why the one f holds a special place in my heart?
did kalon just ask arie if he could drive a stick shift? race car driver, dude. race car driver.
doug and tony you seem like nice guys but i just don't see a future with emily in your future. i'm sorry.
tony, this is what i want to say to you. love your vulnerability of missing your little dude. i want you to go home to him because you are on the bachelorette right now. it is a joke. i feel like emily is just coaching you through this and there is no emotional or romantic or any kind of connection. oh good, emily just admitted that to you. thanks, em.
and my second runner up gets the rose. way to show em, sean!
um. dollywood. ya, that's all.
i thought the happiest place on earth was that hotel you went to last week?
i like arie. now i am confused over my top three. jeF, arie, sean. one, two, three. three, two, one. i just don't know.
why does country music run this show? why are people dancing in front of country musicians AGAIN?!
emily likes busting out babies like i do. i like an upfront woman. she's all uh. if you marry me i want to be pregnant five of the next seven years. i told caleb i wanted to have six children while we were dating. he still married me.
arie. i like that you are honest. i'm sorry you had a date in dollywood but i am happy you got a rose. and a little makeout sesh on the carousel never hurt anyone.
KALON!!!! i love it when you talk but i wish you would let me finish. OH EM GEE.
the egg man reminds me of a trendy youth pastor. i'm sorry but i can't help but think that. maybe it's his voice? i don't even know his name.
em. you tell bon jovi! it is not a compromise. amen. TELL HIM.
(sidenote: i think i have used more caps in this post than in any other blog post i have ever written. i am heated over the bach, apparently.)
what ever happened to charlie?
i love that arie goes in for the kiss right before the rose ceremony. get it.
why couldn't you see yourself ever competing against a guy like arie, ryan? because he doesn't style his hair like yours? i'm confused. go home now.
sean, love that you said ricky will be your daughter.
another kiss before the rose ceremony for one of my guys! (refresher!: my guys are arie, sean & jeF) i know how to pick em, ladies. i know how to pick 'em.
i really, really wish that more than one guy was going home from this group.
michael with the long hair - i forgot you were on this show.
why did ryan get a rose?!?!?
why did kalon get a rose?!?!?
why why why.
why do people even get roses?
commentary, please, y'all.
…until next time.