today i turn twenty six.
birthdays are always a time of reflection for me. i can't help but ponder on this last year, and even more, my entire past that has brought me to where i am right this very moment.
my youth pastor came to preach at our church this past week. his voice alone makes me tear up; a man that i truly love and admire. in his voice i hear laughter and long nights, many mistakes, bus trips, worship, becoming, the times and places that shaped me to be the woman i am today. i hear my friends who became my family, the chunk of years that were some of the best years of my life. i hear his voice on my wedding day when he commanded me to love my husband, and even more than that, to love my God. most of all i hear the time when i truly came to understand the gospel and grace.
i saw an old friend the other day. just by looking into her hazel eyes, and without saying a word, i felt it all. i felt all of our memories come flooding back and i knew she felt it, too. neither of us had to say a word but as i stood there holding story, and she stood there, story holding onto her finger, we said it all. how did we go from that to this? and, how, just how did we get here?
i don't know what i would have thought if you told me when i was 15 or 16 years old that i would be married, and staying home raising my three kids, all born before my 26th birthday. given my mood-swiningin', slightly sarcastic, miss independent self, i could have been thrilled about this one day and would have never believed it the next.
it would be safe to say that many of my friends thought i was crazy when i got in engaged right after i turned 19 and married right after i turned 20. and then even crazier when i started popping out babies left and right. but when i look back on the years that lead me to place that i am today i see the Lord's hand continually guiding and directing me. my heart bursts with gratefulness for Him fulfilling my deepest desires to marry a man who loves and serves Him, for the abundance of blessings He has given me in each of my children, and for trusting me to raise these three little lives.
and, truth be told, sometimes being a mom makes me want to rip my hair out. and run. far, far away.
but, you know what? i wouldn't have it any other way.
to many the road that i am on as a wife and mother isn't the most adventurous. it isn't the most daring and exciting. and it isn't what a lot of 26 year old women would want for themselves. some might think less of where i am at and what i am doing day in and day out. dishes, dirty diapers, and a three hour nursing schedules aren't really that fabulous.
this is my great adventure.
...and He's not done with me yet. i am ready for how the Lord will use me in my 26th year, ready to show others His love and His grace. i am ready to continue falling more in love in my maker.
i am so blessed to claim these twenty six years as my own.
now, if you'll excuse me. two little boys just collided and a certain baby girl is a-hollerin'.
… it's back to the glamorous life.