Monday, February 20

a love story: kyle parish

i'm kyle and i blog over at like the rain.
i'm taking a break from my pregnancy induced blogging hiatus to share our little love story with you all.
enjoy.

when i met drew, he was in a band, rocked a boyish goatee and had the oddest sense of DAV grandpa style. 


he was 17 and a senior in high school, i was 18 and focusing on not attending my first semester of college classes (which i did fabulously) and dreaming about moving to haiti.


he actually annoyed me the first day we spent together, but he won me over when we discovered we were the only two people on our bus that knew every single word to ice ice baby.
we had a bond. 

a vanilla ice bond is stronger than it seems so don't even try to judge.
we hung around in the same group of friends, but i wasn't interested in him in that way which led us to (what i believe) is the best thing about our dating relationship. 
we stayed the best of friends for about a year and half.


when we started dating, we were able to skip all the awkward get-to-know-you stuff, and were able to get down to business pretty quickly. 
i knew that God had led me to drew and that this guy, with a sweet beard and wonderfully nurturing spirit was going to be my husband. 
dating him was the easiest thing i have ever done.
there were no doubts, or ifs or buts, it just was.
drew and kyle for life.

getting married at 20 and 21 had its challenges.


i remember standing in our kitchen as a newlywed thinking we just had it together and laughing at those people who say, "oh, we were so young and dumb when we got married".
ha. ha. ha.
we were so not young and dumb.

now, 4 1/2 years later i think we were right. we weren't young and dumb; we were total babies and completely stupid.
but that's what makes marriage fun and new and exciting. it's fun pulling a raw pot roast out of the oven, and spending money on meaningless things that seemed so necessary at the time, but being so broke we couldn't buy groceries.

we weren't prepared and/or old enough to have the experience to learn those things before getting married, so we learned them together. 
and i love that.
marriage to him was easy, just like dating him was easy.


and in my marriage, if you know our story, you know that one day i woke up and my marriage had fallen apart. that i sat 23 years old holding a 7 month old boy wondering what my life had become and wondering when i had blindly missed all of the red flags that led us to this point. wondering where my intuition had led me, what God had allowed me to arrive to. 

and that's when my life stopped being easy. 
marriage to me was not the breezy thoughtless journey i had been on for 2 years prior, it had become the war i was fighting to win and what i was kicking and screaming to not let go of. 
while drew was off, unrepentant, i was sitting in our empty house trying to figure out what in the world i was going to do, and how i was ever going to get through this mess.

but God works miracles, and he did a number on my husband and on my marriage.
the year or so following that time was like fighting a losing battle. 
some days i looked at drew and hated him. 
some days i hated myself for staying.
most days i thought about leaving and every single day i knew that i had made the right decision to stay in my marriage, regardless of how bad it hurt.

and with time God restored our marriage.
i could look at drew and remember why i loved him, feel comfortable to be myself again, be vulnerable around him and even share our story with the world. 

the man i live with is not the man that walked out on his family two and a half years ago, he's a man that leads our home with integrity and with strength and humbles me and challenges me daily to be the best wife and momma i can be.


and after 4 1/2 years of marriage i can say that being married to him is easy, but not in the young and dumb kind of way. 
easy in the slightly older, been through more, have a few battle wounds and came out for the better kind of easy. 
easy because loving him hasn't always been easy, but it feels easy now because i don't have to try. 
easy because being with him hasn't always been easy but now i can't imagine my life apart from him.
easy because God brought us together and as long as we follow Him, nothing can separate us.


7 comments:

  1. love love love every word kyle!! you are brave and inspiring. and i know that is the beauty God has worked into your heart through your trials. that family photo is amazing too btw. your part about restoration, followed by that photo, makes me say thank you jesus. he rocks.

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  2. i love your bravery in sharing your story and it's true as long as we follow God he will see us through anything.
    xxO

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  3. You both are awesome! Proud of you for hanging in there and receiving the great rewards of such a lovely family. God does do miracles and it is often painful when we wait on Him! Your smiles are wonderful. Thank you for being transparent and inspiring to others. hugs.

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  4. Love you two and your testimony. Thanks for being transparent to others. It is true that trusting God through these times is often painful. So glad you stuck it out and are being able to enjoy the fruits of your lovely family!

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  5. haha. I guess I sent two . Choose the one you like best. I thought the first one didn't go through. Have a great day!

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  6. this is amazing.
    i love this story! God's strength is so evident in your love. <3

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  7. What and amazing and inspirational story! You are one strong and faithful lady!

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