Wednesday, January 11

the thing about love

matt hammitt wrote the song all of me after he and his wife found out their sweet baby boy, bowen, was diagnosed with a serious and rare congenital heart defect.

these are the lyrics:

"Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you

Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me"

i have heard this song a hundred times on klove, but the other day, when i needed it the most, i really listened. what struck me most was the audio clip of matt explaining why he wrote this song.

i grabbed paper to write down every word he said but i didn't get to the paper fast enough. i even got a little extreme and called the radio station a few times trying to get them to find the audio clip to replay for me… but, no avail.

so i am going to best summarize what he said.

he explained love and loving with our whole hearts. he asked if we were willing to give someone our heart, knowing that we might lose a piece of it. he knew he was going to have to give all of himself to loving bowen, with the risk that he might lose his son. but he loves him, and gave all of himself, because it is worth it.

and even though i am not writing this, or thinking on this, in the same way that matt and his wife were. i am writing it and thinking on it today.

because isn't that the thing, the bittersweet thing, about love. that love hurts when it's at it's best. when we are being true, and real, and loving hard, it isn't always beautiful. but it's raw, and emotional... and we say the things we don't want to say, but know we have to, because they are things that will grow our love for each other.

we can trade our pain in for a purpose.

you're gonna have all of me.