first things first, i wouldn't say i'm an advocate for a natural, unmedicated birth. i would say i'm an advocate for what you feel is best for you and your baby. i felt this way was best with both the boys. if all goes as i would love it to, i would love to take that journey on the out-of-body-experience-of-wonder road again, but it's not really up to me. i could need an emergency c-section. my baby could be breech. you never know, really. there are many women who long for the opportunity to have a vaginal birth and aren't able to. i don't take my two birthing experiences for granted. i think they have changed me, and made me stronger.
it's hard for me to describe what labor and delivery is truly like. i love talking with women who have gone drug-free as well. we can laugh about it now, but we weren't laughing then, were we? it is sort of this spiraling into a complete surrender to the pain that brings me to a place i have only visited twice. a place i am praying to go to again. has there ever been such a gripping (and ripping…ahem.), changing, becoming, surreal, twisting, turning experience other than childbirth? i crave to do it again, i crave the natural-ness of it, the wholeness of it, the empowerment of it, the thrill of it.
so why not at home? isn't that the most natural way to go? i am asked by many in the midwife lovin', natural birth having, medicine free paths i cross. i think home birth is such an awesome option and opportunity for birth, it's just not for me.
here's my reasons.
first up, let me tell you about my amazing, wonderful, heavenly, friend when i am in labor. the birthing tub. this massive pool of warm water that is jetting out at me and bringing relief to those radiating contractions. i do not have a bath tub of this nature in my home, or one even close. i realize you can buy or rent these, but i also don't have $350 laying around to go to a birthing tub. nor the space for it. i am pretty sure most people in america have a standard size bathtub…except the burkleos. i don't even get in my tub to take a bath, let alone to labor in. the thought of me laboring in it actually makes me mildly nauseas, along with providing me a hysterical mental image. and to not labor in the water is seriously not even an option.
foster's first moments
my husband just ain't as good as the midwife and nurses at pushing on that pressure point above my butt. you do know about that pressure point, don't you? your life will be changed, my friends. changed, i tell you. when the nurse was pushing on that pressure point my contraction was literally taken away. is there a better gift for a woman in labor? i think not. then she has caleb try, i peer over my shoulder and look at him like the frazzled naked woman that i am and tell him to move on over, he's not even close. fact of the matter is, my husband isn't trained to do that. mmmkay?
next up, i need help from various individuals. help walking to the bathroom, help getting in and out of the shower, help from the nurses if i have a question, help from the lactation consultant, who is the only one who can get the babe to latch at that time. help, help, help. you name it, i need it.
the large cups filled with crushed ice and cranberry juice cocktail. i'm addicted.
space! our house is little, just over 1000 square feet and two kiddos already in it. it's their happy place, our home. where they sleep and play the best. transporting them somewhere else would have to happen. some people like their children them watch them give birth, i however do not. gimme my own space, puhlease.
the nasty, bloody truth is that i don't want to clean up after i give birth. i don't want to have our house become a hot mess when i could come home to a clean and orderly place. i don't want to be bleeding the next 48 hours in my own bed. i just don't. i don't want to provide and prepare the hose, the tub, the clean up, the tucks pads, and the granny mesh underwear. i want it all handed to me. and i want to swipe as many pampers swaddles diapers from the hospital as i can. not to mention, it's the big bucks to buy all the supplies we need for birthing at home.
can i tell you a
gross funny story? okay, good.
after i had foster i was so frightened to get up and go the bathroom because of how awful it was the first time around. when i first stood up after giving birth to brody i just about collapsed and it's a darn good thing two nurses and my husband were there to catch me and give me smelling salts. i had to pee so bad but couldn't figure out how to. that is a true story. so, after i gave birth to foster i kept exclaiming, i have to pee! to which the nurses said, we can help you to the bathroom and i said, standing up is not an option in my life right now. so they told me to just pee. just pee right there, danielle. we'll clean it up, it's totally fine. i'm all, for realz!? i love you and i love that you just said that. so, after a little work to get things going, i did just that. peed all over the bed, and then the nurses cleaned me and my bed up, got me some nice clean, fresh sheets and i relaxed with my baby boy. that right there? that's why i love my birthing center so much.
all this being said, if i didn't have the midwife services, support, and amazing childbirth center that i have, i might think differently about home birth for me.
but, because i have that…bring on the labor…. in 18 weeks that is.