January 19, 2015


Okay, confession time. I just simply could not finish the bachelor last week. It was that bad... I started blogging it and then I just wanted to hit my head repeatedly against the wall so I shut it off. Somewhere between the bikinis and tractors I lost my mind and Chris didn't seem to be nearly as great as he was on Andi's season. Please don't be the next Juan Pab, Prince Faming. I am giving your a little grace this week and, maybe, only cause Jimmy is on this week, and that's why.

Here's a few jotted notes from last week:

- Why are all the girls sitting in a line while sobbing woman asks for a second chance? Chris, the message it sends to other girls is TARGET ON HER BACK ERRRRYDAY. Cue the fake clapping and cheers.

- Why isn't he wearing a shirt under his sweatshirt?

- This is the most important thing that Chris will ever do in his life, the bachelor.

- Is Megan the helmut girl drunk at ten AM? I am not sure. Also why Jillian, with the bathing suit?

- And why are they racing tractors in their bathing suits in the middle of LA? I suddenly don't like Prince Farming that much any more. I was counting on him to be not an idiot but this is really pushing it for me. For America.

- Kenzers, please don't come on the bachelor again until you're 30, maybe. Everything about your date, and the fact that Chris gave you a rose. I don't even know who he is anymore.

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This week: 

Sisterwives. I die.

I feel like Chris could look at Caitlin in the limo. Maybe not out the window the entire time? I don't know maybe it's just me. Let's be clear that my vote is NOT going for Caity-Cait. Her outfit is perfect for Costco. Anywhere, really. I mean. Crop tops forever?

Children pushing them in the hamster ball in the grocery store.

Chris's look when he has his chin up and eyes like slits looking down. I feel like it's a PF signature. I know you know what I'm talking about. Also his laugh.

Chris giving Caitlin the rose in front of Jimmy was amazing ($1).

Jillian, we are definitely scared of you. Congrats? Can someone buy you some pants? Maybe with the money from the amazing jar?

The goats milk was making me throw up in my mouth. I wouldn't drink that for anyone. Anyone.

I need to fill in Carly's eyebrows. Yesterday.

Kissing isn't the point of the whole deal, PF. But thanks.

Mackenzie has got.to.go. Book the flight, Jim.

Becca, I like you. You are the only one I like, pretty much. So there's that. Get that rose, girrrrrrl.

Whit sure knows how to talk herself up. Facebook friends with people she meets in the airport + she's so spontaneous. Yo-lo. Maybe the thing about weddings that is romantic is that two people are getting MARRIED.

I keep hearing this dinging and wondering what bell is going off in my house. El oh el. Amazing Jar. Duh.

Whitney did grow on me a tiny bit. The tiniest bit, people.

I guess kimonos are the necessity for the pool party.

Oh my gosh. Cracky. Can someone, preferably Chris, send Mackenzie and Jillian home immediately. Maybe the Kim K look alike too.

The previews are... enticing? I don't know if it will beat having Jimmy on the show this week.

Lata, playas.

January 13, 2015